- Book Title: Drama Muscle
- Book Series: A Nicky and Noah Mystery #2
- Author: Joe Cosentino
- Publisher: Lethe Press (December 29, 2015)
- Book Length: 175 pages
- Genre: Contemporary, Comedy, Mystery
- Posting Date: January 3, 2015
Congratulations to Joe Cosentino for winning Best Contemporary Novel, Best Mystery Novel, Best Crime Novel, and Best Humorous Novel of 2015 for DRAMA QUEEN, the first Nicky and Noah mystery published by Lethe Press, in the Divine Magazine Readers’ Poll Awards!
Please welcome Nicky Abbondanza, the leading character and amateur sleuth in Joe Cosentino’s second Nicky and Noah comedy/mystery, DRAMA MUSCLE, published by Lethe Press.
Nicky, what was your favorite part about solving the mystery in DRAMA MUSCLE?
I’m a Professor of Directing at Treemeadow College, a small, private Edwardian-style college in New England named after its original founders, a wealthy gay couple named Tree and Meadow. In DRAMA QUEEN I had to figure out who was bringing the curtain down on my colleagues in the theatre department and why. Along the way, I fell in love with Noah Oliver, Professor of Acting. Noah is gorgeous with golden-blond hair, crystal blue eyes, and a smooth body. Even more, I love Noah’s sweetness, kindness, and compassion for others.
In DRAMA MUSCLE I was directing the bodybuilding competition on campus when bodybuilding students and faculty began dropping like barbells. The local detective was stumped. The bodybuilding students were at one another’s thick throats for the coveted trophy prize. Each of the bodybuilding professors was pumped vying to be department head, including Van Granite, who had an eye (and a flexed bicep) on my Noah! So I knew it was up to me to do the Sherlock Holmes routine. On cue, Noah as Watson helped me solve the case. Noah and I used eavesdropping, spying, playing other people, and even seduction to get our clues and eventually uncover our murderer. Since I’m tall, muscular (thanks to the gym on campus) with dark hair and eyes and a Roman nose, not to mention I have an enormous schlong, the seduction part was easy. I got your attention there! I don’t mean to sound big-headed (pardon the pun) but as they say, I’m hung like a happy horny horse. Try saying that three times fast. But don’t get me wrong. I’m a one-man man and that man is Noah Oliver, who thankfully has quite the sense of adventure—in more ways than one. Anyway, I had to use the little gray cells to figure out who really did it and why. That got Noah and me into some tight spots, but being tight with Noah was fine with me. There are also some sweet romances in the story between students who I think you will like. And Noah’s hysterically funny parents come for a visit and get smack in the action. Throughout the story, I share the clues with you, as well as my wacky sense of humor. You’ll love the surprises and twists and turns in the plot. You’ll also have fun trying to guess the identity of the murderer, but I doubt you’ll succeed. Don’t worry though, I tell you all you need to know about who did and why at the end of the story. Believe me, it will knock your sneakers off.
And DRAMA QUEEN and DRAMA MUSCLE aren’t my only mystery capers. I should say, our mystery caper since Noah is right beside me in each case. In DRAMA CRUISE (coming from Lethe Press), I direct college theatre professors in a murder mystery dinner theatre production onboard a cruise to Alaska. Did I mention the professors are dropping overboard like life rafts, and Noah and I have to find out why?
Each novel in the series offers a good brain teaser mystery with lots of fun, frenzy, and frolic. Try staying that three times fast. Give Noah and me a try. I think you’ll love us, as much as we love each other.
So come along as my workout partner. Pick up a copy of DRAMA MUSCLE, take the bench next to me, and let the competition begin. Weights going up!
And tell Joe Cosentino what you thought of it via his web site: http://www.JoeCosentino.weebly.com. He likes to talk to other people besides Noah and me!
It could be lights out for college theatre professor Nicky Abbondanza. With dead bodybuilders popping up on campus, Nicky, and his favorite colleague/life partner Noah Oliver, must use their drama skills to figure out who is taking down pumped up musclemen in the Physical Education building before it is curtain down for Nicky and Noah. Complicating matters is a visit from Noah’s parents from Wisconsin, and Nicky’s suspicion that Noah may be hiding more than a cut, smooth body.
You will be applauding and shouting Bravo for Joe Cosentino’s fast-paced, side-splittingly funny, edge-of-your-seat entertaining second novel in this delightful series. Curtain up and weights up!
As the ethereal sound of horns parted the heavenly clouds, the young gods and goddesses appeared in a ray of white light. Standing as strong as the stone columns behind them, the deities displayed stunning muscles, colossal beauty, and mammoth ambition housed in the smallest and most seductive of white garments. Lightning flashed as they formed a resilient line and each struck their first flawless pose. Zeus was dark-skinned and as powerful as thunder. Ganymede at his side had skin of white porcelain and a clever stare. Hercules and Adonis were the perfect blend of masculine vigor and physical splendor. Athena was a gorgeous, olive-skinned warrior, and Aphrodite a lovely, fair-skinned temptress. Achilles watched them all, vowing to be victorious in the end.
“Good work, everyone!”
That was me, Nicky Abbondanza, Professor of Directing at Treemeadow College, a white-stone Edwardian-style private college in the quaint and picturesque village of Treemeadow in the equally quaint and picturesque state of Vermont. As inscribed on the two bronze statues at the college’s entrance, the college’s name comes from its founders, Harold Tree and Jacob Meadow. Tree and Meadow were madly wealthy, madly generous, and madly in love. The old gents would no doubt be proud to know that Noah Oliver (Professor of Acting) and I have become a current generation couple at Treemeadow College. That’s not to say Noah and I look anything like our college’s founders. We aren’t made of bronze for one. We wear dress shirts, slacks, and blazers in the fall season rather than heavy dark suits. Also, the Treemeadows were small, thin, scholarly types. Noah and I are both tall. I am of the dark hair, long sideburns, Roman nose, pumped body (thanks to the gym on campus) variety. Oh, there’s one other small thing. Well, it’s not really small. To the delight or horror of my past boyfriends, I have a nine-and-a-quarter-inch penis—flaccid. Luckily, Noah is delighted and totally open (pardon the pun) to new adventures. Noah
has luxurious curly-blond hair, batting blue eyes, and the warmest heart in New England. His body is firm and smooth, but not toned as he never goes near the gym—until now!
Each year the top students in the Bodybuilding Department compete in a contest to be named the Top Toned Tan Trojan at Treemeadow (Try saying that three times fast). Actually, the real name is Treemeadow’s Annual Bodybuilding Competition. The winner receives an enormous gold cup, and more importantly, the year’s college tuition free. Given the rising cost of tuition at Treemeadow, this is no lightweight matter (pardon the pun again).
Bodybuilding Department Head Professor Brick Strong asked my Theatre Department Head, Martin Anderson, if Noah and I could use our theatrical expertise to add a dramatic flair to this year’s bodybuilding competition. Since I was not directing a play that semester, Martin agreed to give Noah and me release time, thereby changing our mantra from “Let’s put on a show” to “I’m gonna pump you up.” That led to Noah and me hauling lighting, smoke, sound, and set equipment, along with a number of skimpy Greek period costumes, from the Theatre Department building to the Physical Education building. The plan was that I, as a directing professor, would direct the production, and Noah, as an acting professor, would work with the student-athletes on stage presence for their individual poses.
“Okay everyone, Professor Oliver will take it from here.” I stepped aside and leaned against the gym wall.
Noah flicked back his gorgeous blond locks and took my place in front of the students like a new king taking the throne after a revolution. Sounding delectably butch, he said, “Let’s take a little time to discuss each of your characters. The Greek period was a—”
“That’s the period we’ve selected for the competition in terms of characters, set, and costumes,” I said.